莫名其妙的emo了 :((

最近的我，到底怎么了？
总是莫名其妙的emo……是因为太得空了吗？
太多时间想一些有的没的吗？
可是我不见得很得空啊，
宿舍活动忙得我头大，课业和活动开会都占据了我大部分的时间，不是吗？

前几天，莫名其妙的down了下来，
想发泄，不知道要对什么发泄。
想说话，不知道该对谁说。
想叹气，不知道为何要叹气。
想痛哭，不知道该借谁的肩膀。
结果，就直接收拾衣服，call哥哥接我回家了。
家，总是最温暖的。
每当遍体鳞伤或累得喘不过气时，第一个想到的就是家。

回到家，虽然有些问题不见得解决了，
但至少，有开心了一些，心情好多了。
前几天，是因为开会之后，感觉很压力，
好像还有很多pending tasks还没完成，
九个departments一大堆东西要处理，
让我觉得有点喘不过气来。
在还没消化这一大堆东西的当儿，
才开完会，临晨一点又被拉去interview了。

那是PTUM'2011 performance executive的面试，
ex-executive打了很多次电话给我，我都拒绝了。
就在我开完会后，mickey又追命call了，我接了那通电话，
认真的跟她谈了很久，当晚是最后一天的interview了。
谈完后，我也决定去面试了。
到了那里，已经很晚的关系，我是最后一个面试者了。
那间冷冰冰的房里，有十几位ex-executive对着我一个，
问了我很多很多的问题，非常压力。

一小时的问答环节终于结束了，
走出那会议室后，我马上脚软然后掉泪了。
其实，我还蛮惊讶为什么我会在那一刻掉泪了。
临睡前想想，觉得应该是压力吧，
没有准备之下，也没有想到会是一个这么严肃的面试。
再加上之前开会的压力都还没消化完吧！
而且听说，那三天去面试的人已经是不少个哭着出来了，哈哈！

今天收到了信息，我被录取为performance executive了。
我不知道这算是好消息还是坏消息，
我也没因为这消息而感到特别难过或是开心，
但我很清楚，爱你所选的。
我选择了去面试的那一刻，有想过我会后悔吗？
PTUM真的不简单，需要面对的是几百个的committee和表演者，
况且选择了executive，就不能成为演员或舞蹈员了，
当天的我真的很难以做决定，很彷徨。

但，既然一切都成定局了，
也不想去想这么多了，
试过当表演者了，这次是时候学习当幕后者了。
至于我的宿舍活动，一大堆的问题会一一解决，
运动总是我的发泄工具，过后会再开始打squash，
分散下注意力，释放下压力也好。:)
其实，也不仅仅是这些活动让我觉得喘不过气，
也是有一些小小的事情，让我觉得很懊恼不开心。
不过，没什么事情大不了的啦，
问题总会有办法解决的。
*Everything you do, do with all your heart!* =)


-wen-

Anti-moody =PP

Hmm...this is the second week of my second sem,
quite free recently, always hang out with frens for movie and dinner.
Spent quite a lot of time on facebook, read newspaper and books.
I have met some old fren accidentally recently.
Last few months, i met an old fren from Segamat, which i knew him in a camp i joined in form two. He gave me a photo we took in the camp and i was really got a shock because i totally forgot we have took this photo before. Hahahha...
I was still a small gal and he's still a small guy in that photo. After 6 years, i'm a business student and he's currently a law's student in UM. Today, he text me for supper with his frens. When i reached there, only i knew that another guy i met in the past 6 years' camp is there. His name is jun cheng and i still have his contact number but he already change his number long time ago. Goodness...i thought i will never meet all these frens again after the camp, but after 6 years, we're having supper together in UM's mamak!! =DD
What i wish to say is, many incidents can happen in our life, you will never expect what god has been arranged for your days forward and your future life. Really felt surprise and glad to meet again old frens today. =))

I have got my final exam's result last week. My result not that good for sem 1 and usually result didn't make any big effect on my mood. But, that day my mom asked bout my result and I told her my pointer. She really got a shock coz she always put high expectation on me. But this time I really make her quite disappointed and actually I'm vry dissatisfied with my result as well. I have no idea how to talk with my dad bout my result coz i know he will be more disappointed than mom. Argghhhhh...since that day, my mood has been greatly affected and keep asking myself izit i didn't try my best? izit i not that care my study already? A lot of question marks and become moody for quite some times. :((

However, i'm a vry positive thinking person so wun let myself moody too many days. Hahha...So, i started to think and find out the problem. And i know my main problem is time management on my exam paper. I cant managed to finish answering all the questions and that's y lost a lot of marks in few subjects. Today after class, I went to find my academic advisor. I thought she will scold me and keep bla bla bla~~ But, everything go oppositely. After i told her my problem and mistake, she keep smiling with me and gave me a lot of encouragement!! She said actually my result is not that bad,asked me don't give up in this sem, have to work harder. And the most important, she said although cant get good result but at least i have learned a lesson in my very first semester!! I know what's my mistake and i learn from this lesson. That's why she keep encouraging me and very confident on me. All in all, i have think again seriously and more clear with my direction and my way now!!

I'm no longer down or moody with my result. That's already a fact. What I need to do now is achieve my goal for 2nd sem and enjoy my uni-life at the same time. If there is a thing you "want", then you will simply try out any best way to make it yours. But if you just "think" only, no action no planning, then the thing you want will be more far away from you.
*Life is just that simple, be who you wish yourself to be.*


-wen-